Living In The Void

Sonic Satori - T.G.I.RMAF, Our Rocky Mountain Audio Fest 2011 Adventure by Michael Mercer

2011-10-22T22:47:00.000-07:00

PLEASE CHECK OUT THE ARTICLE HERE
at Positive-Feedback.com

The Vinyl Anachronist: Our System at Rocky Mountain Audio Fest

2011-10-16T09:42:00.000-07:00

The Vinyl Anachronist: Our System at Rocky Mountain Audio Fest: Here's our system at the Rocky Mountain Audio Fest. We shared Room 1102 with AudioEvo.org, Positive Feedback Online, SonicWeld, Locus Design.

I've helped set this system up - and, our dear friend Lee Weiland, of Locus Design has passed, so its so nice to have a part of him in the system. We MISS YOU LEE

futile tragedy

2011-05-17T00:18:00.000-07:00

Just when you think the Break is coming..
Life hits you with a fucking Tsunami

The Greatest Ears in Town: The Arif Mardin Story (trailer)

2011-03-22T22:27:00.002-07:00

To The Void

2011-02-28T22:44:00.000-08:00

This is the first poem from a chapbook of poetry I put out years ago entitled Adaptations in Void:

To The Void

Fearless, speechless, know-nothing

Teenage cries for anthems,

Cigarettes, the quick fix,

Endless conversation.

TV vomit,

Youth magnet.

Teach, compel, bestow fallacy.

Atomic babies.

Plastered data,

E-mail eyes.

Indigenous types.

Smoke sours, voices cry.

Techno vacuum

Written By:

Michael Mercer 8, October, 1991

Poem on my other blog

2011-02-24T23:51:00.000-08:00

I jotted this silly poem for my Amplified blog:

Life Moves

2011-02-21T11:30:00.001-08:00

Hey! PLS check out my review of the NEW Radiohead album, King of Limbs!! http://ping.fm/R4CjK

2011-01-24T10:37:00.001-08:00

PLS check out my l8st Sonic Satori column at TheDailySwarm.com: http://ping.fm/pvpHF & PLS LEAVE A COMMENT!!

Meandering Thoughts. Money and Ego

2011-01-16T02:22:00.000-08:00

Fighting Egos wrapped in Financial Success

while I fight to hold on to Integrity

and Broke.

Sometimes my Soul feels Empty

while Im surrounded by the best

people I find, and I Know, and

Love.

Many of them Struggle too,

and perhaps All of them,

but some struggles never seem to End,

Money

That's a Constant Struggle

in Our house.

and hearing Good Guys always finish Last

Never helps

and it's Not True.

Not All the time.

Some of us taste superficial Freedom,

that comes by way of money and job security,

long hours working,

partying.

(when you work for it you deserve it)

Then Life throws a mound of Shit Your way,

instead of stepping out of the way

you walk Right Into it.

Then, those motherfuckers who held onto financial,

superficial Success through Treachery and Deceit-

I look up to them for a second.

Then I realize, They're Not surrounded by the Best

people they know, that love Them.

That's Wealth.

Chasing Elliott Smith

2011-01-02T00:54:00.000-08:00

Elliott Smith was morose

and Beautiful.

His voice,

sounds of a Generation

falling in Love,

finding despair,

trying to see the Beauty

in Everything

while Searching for Something,

Something Real.

Like getting Stabbed in the Fuckin'

Chest and hearing the police say you

killed yourself

when you merely Tried.

Tried to break apart the hurt

and scream melodies with

pain just as deep.

We're looking for our Souls

in thin computers and machinery

that's designed by us, but isn't

the Answer to why We're Here.

Embracing Every distraction,

yet we cry for more understanding

and sincere connections to other people.

Both have a price:

Do Too Much

and you may fall to pieces

Trust Too Much

and you may lose all your pieces

Wishing for a moment of Glory

during the biggest Fight in Life

But we are not Alone.

Sometimes that's all that can save me

from sinking

into Smith's Despair.

Searching for Eno

2010-12-21T22:24:00.000-08:00

I sit, listening to dreamy,
cascading melodies

Thinking of Everything I've done
wrong this year.
And last year, and the year before that,
and the year before that, and the year
before that

Not Knowing when it will stop,
The stomach aches, the tears, the frustration,
the feeling of helplessness that comes in waves
at work, and at home.

I put it all into my work, my craft, my art,
and the job that pays the bills.
I put too much into the things that barely matter,
the things I loath in my soul, the things that ugliness
in the world force me to do.

I Wish I could live like Jack, or Hunter, or William,
or Allen, any of the great warriors of the human spirit.

Life beats me up so bad I want a do-over, another chance,
another life, another option.

Then

I look at the things I am grateful for.

but it doesn't kill the sting

2010-10-03T15:49:00.001-07:00

PLS check out What is the Future of High End Audio, Part duex (my follow-up) in Positive Feedback: http://ping.fm/GgWc5

2010-09-23T22:56:00.001-07:00

OK Readers-U asked 4 it! PLS check out my Part II of "What is the Future of High End Audio": http://ping.fm/7wLHX

2010-09-16T12:12:00.001-07:00

PLS check this out: http://ping.fm/PBhVW Arif Mardin's Son and Peers Pay Tribute to His Passion for Jazz

2010-09-07T10:14:00.001-07:00

PLS check out my latest Sonic Satori column in @TheDailySwarm! http://ping.fm/zU9Ct & leave a Comment!

2010-09-04T10:33:00.001-07:00

Fan of Portishead? PLS check out my review of the Beak> record: http://ping.fm/U2Ikf Dark and Lovely!!!!

2010-08-24T12:45:00.001-07:00

Stereophile: Data Density Eats Tweaks for Breakfast http://ping.fm/38nOt

2010-08-23T17:48:00.001-07:00

UPGRADE the SOUND of your COMPUTER AUDIO http://ping.fm/ysBAn

2010-08-19T11:29:00.001-07:00

Kids (15-21) & me (35 yrs old) DON'T CARE HOW A SPEAKER MEASURES. We CARE about MUSIC, & if the SYSTEM SOUNDS GOOD!: http://ping.fm/ZhO4Z

2010-08-17T15:37:00.001-07:00

Hey! Come check out our HRT Music Streamer Facebook page & become a fan: http://ping.fm/OutLk

2010-08-13T20:30:00.001-07:00

STEREO IS COOL AGAIN (& easily attainable now) Check AUDIOENGINE spkrs 4 example: http://bit.ly/caVG2y & HRT USB DACs http://bit.ly/c1FIAb

2010-08-13T15:57:00.001-07:00

DON'T SETTLE 4 POOR SOUND from your computer: http://ping.fm/MXRnU Check out HRT USB DACs (AFFORDABLE_

2010-08-02T22:58:00.001-07:00

Want BETTER SOUND from your COMPUTER & NOT spend alot of $$$?: http://ping.fm/jPNnW Tell them Mike Mercer sent U

2010-07-24T11:17:00.001-07:00

PLS check out my latest album review for Positive Feedback: White Belt Yellow Tag's Methods - http://ping.fm/SPvLx

My Zero 7 Review in Positive Feedback

2010-07-22T09:49:00.000-07:00

zero7 review in Positive Feedback Online

Never Goin' Back

2010-07-21T01:00:00.000-07:00

I want a Do Over.
I wanna go Back to that field where my parents
missed my first hat-trick.

When I knew who my friends were
Where my alliances lay
My confidence, Supreme.

I need a fuckin' Delorian to 2004,
another chance to show these weak-ass
DJs what Soul is all About.
When We knew who our Friends were
Where their alliances lay
and when we always Smiled.

I always wanna go back After I've taken
a Giant Leap and the fall Kills me.

A man can only fall a few times before
he either accepts a pathetic day-to-day
or steps out of the game.

Your Friends Can Save You.
Don't let Them Lie and say they Can't.

Mine Saved me,
one too many times I think.

But it isn't too late for You

Whomever finds these words
these tears
this pain

This Joy

2010-07-17T13:31:00.001-07:00

my review of Zero 7's new "Record" (Best of album) comin out on Atlantic Records: http://ping.fm/tvZL0

2010-07-13T13:58:00.001-07:00

SO PSYCHED for Opening night at the Smodcastle!! http://ping.fm/BoIN6 Thanx to Mr. Kevin Smith, we'll B witnessing history!!!!

We All Strange

2010-07-03T00:28:00.000-07:00

Wow

Jim was disgusted,
his words,
hockin' a motor vehicle

and We're looking to sell our souls
for more licensing, more money,
and for more what?

More madness
more shame
or shamelessness

Ever sit down and listen to
L.A. Woman all the way through?

"Cars Hiss By My Window",
now thats simple beauty.
A Superb groove

Wait a minute;
Sit down and listen to an entire record,
from start to Finish...

That's a fuckin' Alien concept
Isn't it

2010-06-16T10:16:00.001-07:00

My nu Sonic Satori column in The Daily Swarm!: http://ping.fm/F1zeh check it out & LEAVE a COMMENT!

2010-05-04T12:22:00.001-07:00

PLS check out my latest review in Positive Feedback; Male Bonding's Nothing Hurts: http://ping.fm/56jdN

2010-04-27T07:47:00.001-07:00

My 1st Sonic Satori column for The Daily Swarm!!: http://ping.fm/sT5D3 PUMPED! PLS check it out

2010-04-25T23:55:00.001-07:00

Just submitted my review of Male Bondings Nothing Hurts comin out on Sub Pop: http://ping.fm/3xleE

2010-04-23T00:19:00.001-07:00

You computer/iTunes CAN and SHOULD sound as good as the best CD decks (w/the right files) so check out the HRT Music Streamer II, or the Devilsound DAC!

2010-04-17T08:42:00.001-07:00

Record Store Day! Go and buy an album, @ your indie record store!!!!

2010-04-04T16:27:00.001-07:00

HEY - PLS check out my review of Avi Buffalo's debut record in Positive Feedback!: http://ping.fm/e3tlq

2010-04-01T18:56:00.001-07:00

HMMMM, Radiohead's In Rainbows bumpin via the Luxman L-550AII integrated amplifier: http://ping.fm/m88dU Sonic Heaven

2010-03-30T21:14:00.001-07:00

Have U checked out the latest issue of Positive Feedback Online?: http://ping.fm/zFmzZ Weve got GR8 stuff there!!

2010-03-23T07:23:00.001-07:00

PLS check out my l8est review of Dot Allison's "Room 7 1/2", produced by PJ Harvey's man Bob Ellis: http://ping.fm/3C6pR

2010-03-20T21:04:00.001-07:00

Here's a KILLER audio system for your computer: AUDIOENGINE A2 spkrs + Devilsound DAC: http://ping.fm/lpgnX - http://ping.fm/0MWr0

2010-03-20T14:27:00.001-07:00

Being Loyal, and those who know me - know I am that if nothing else. But, concerned about the actions of others

2010-03-13T21:07:00.001-08:00

ROCKIN the Nola Boxer spkrs in the reference system. These R so damn good: http://ping.fm/BVlrB

2010-02-28T20:39:00.001-08:00

Listenin 2 the nu Avi Buffalo album, comin out on Sub Pop in April, very 60's, but sincere: http://ping.fm/wPPO4

2010-02-23T21:14:00.001-08:00

Hey! PLS check out my recent review of Damian Lazarus's Smoke The Monster Out album on Positive Feedback: http://ping.fm/1bAFD

2010-02-16T00:24:00.001-08:00

NEWZ: Slight Delay in plans! I will be available @ L.A. Audio Video soon! in the meantime, hit me up @ VFX: http://ping.fm/uuArW

2010-02-11T17:07:00.001-08:00

OK. As of Monday, Feb. 15th, I'll be available at L.A. Audio Video from 12-5pm! Finally, some firm scheduling. http://ping.fm/BZQai PLS come on by, or email me!!!!

Fragmented

2010-02-07T22:23:00.000-08:00

Caught
between open-minded
visions of the future

and a fear of the Present.

Heritage and blood
have been divided
by business.

There is no way back.
No righteous path.

There is no Trust.

I am alien to this particular
Battle,
yet I reside in its middle.

I can not see a way out,
and I am terrified,
terrified of losing Everything,
as Everything depends on the outcome

of this Insane conflict.

Where it began,
and how it came to this
I have no idea.

I only know
it Cannot End Well.

2010-02-04T20:49:00.001-08:00

Found out Harry Pearson's speech from RMAF 09 (where I spoke) is on Youtube! PLS check it out & Support: http://ping.fm/u6Jjo

2010-02-02T07:23:00.001-08:00

People can be snakes in the grass, especially when they seem sincere. In business this seems acceptable sometimes. NOT WITH ME

2010-01-30T22:35:00.001-08:00

BUMPIN' the new Sycophant Slags "Keep Off" EP. Mr. C spittin' lyrics over seriously ILL deepness rapt in teky goodness

2010-01-29T07:35:00.001-08:00

Workin my tail off to get LA Audio/Video back to GR8ness!! Also VisionaireFX Home Theater: http://ping.fm/4Njoi

2010-01-25T23:13:00.001-08:00

Rockin Damian Lazarus's Smoke The Monster Out: http://ping.fm/cedyJ A REFRESHING & Innovative artist album

2010-01-25T10:15:00.001-08:00

Workin' my tail off. Have U heard about AudioEngine speakers & wireless products? http://ping.fm/wI93Y check em out ASAP

2010-01-24T10:45:00.001-08:00

Settling into the 6-day work week again. Installation at Mr. C's proceeding nicely - and workin on gettin some writing done finally!!

2010-01-17T19:44:00.001-08:00

WoW. Brian Eno's Original Masters; Soundtrack Works Selections sounds GR8. Have you checked out AudioEngine speakers & wireless products http://ping.fm/cKkGV

2010-01-10T06:29:00.001-08:00

Buying a true home "theater" should b like buyin a car - test drive it, if u love it: pick the color, and package, its what we do: http://ping.fm/jN4O9

2010-01-08T21:08:00.001-08:00

Settlin into the nu job/digs. but had a GR8 installation today! and C'mon folks, I'm back in the A/V biz fulltime. Can hook U UP http://ping.fm/URGlh

2009-12-27T23:53:00.001-08:00

PSYCHED to be planning my first job in LA! and really pumped that it's building a nu home A/V system for the legendary DJ/MC Mr. C!!!!

2009-12-23T09:39:00.001-08:00

If you need ANYTHING audio/video related, give me a shout! Will be running LA Audio/Video as well: http://ping.fm/dL0Bs

2009-12-22T00:28:00.001-08:00

check out VFX Home Theater: http://ping.fm/7xXlH - I'll b workin there in January. Selling an entire theater, like selling a luxury car - what an idea

2009-12-20T11:05:00.001-08:00

Gettin packed. The nu job starts 1st week of January. Am the manager of operations for VFX Home Theater + LA Audio/Video!! http://ping.fm/TC73n

2009-12-17T23:17:00.001-08:00

The Wadia iTransport is the BEST docking device for unleashing your ipods digital data stream (for use w/ higher quality DACS): http://ping.fm/WZtwD

2009-12-17T00:24:00.001-08:00

Starting my new job at VFX Home Theater & LA Audio/Video after the new year. All my prior clients - check these home theaters out: http://ping.fm/CGEbV

2009-12-11T09:45:00.001-08:00

Did U catch my review of the Nola Boxer loudspeakers: http://ping.fm/9WV8q U MUST hear these if U can

2009-12-09T00:08:00.001-08:00

If U missed it: http://ping.fm/s6WQo my Mother Hips review in Positive Feedback Online

2009-11-27T12:10:00.001-08:00

PLS check out my review of The Mother Hips newly released Pacific Dust album! http://ping.fm/MpNXN

2009-11-27T02:30:00.001-08:00

Heard The Mother Hips latest; Pacific Dust? http://ping.fm/4hTmp could b their best yet

2009-11-26T23:18:00.001-08:00

If u missed my Future of the High End article (cauzin quite a stir) here it is: http://ping.fm/SeJN5 re-published in PFO

Lost Without Pencils

2009-11-14T01:33:00.000-08:00

I want to write something meaningful,
Profound, personal, and Honest.
I want to write in pictures and keep readers interested.
I need to write everyday
and I try.
But trying is bullshit.
Doing is Everything.

I want to reach people
and give them a part of me.
I want to reach them because I feel connected
I feel I need to share that feeling, that need,
that desire, that craving to connect
through my only good thing,
the only thing I feel good at

Writing

You can't force inspiration
and when it comes you must harness it like you life
Depended on it.
Because it does
It truly does
People who don't create do not understand
what it feels like to battle your art.
and they assume writer's block is an excuse
(it fuckin' Is)
but you're not supposed to say it.
Only us who write can say that truth.

2009-11-11T21:15:00.001-08:00

Positive Feedback just published their 09 Writers Choice Awards - PLS check out my choices: http://ping.fm/Uc18b

2009-11-06T11:25:00.001-08:00

I had so much fun writing this review: http://ping.fm/3m2WX JHAudio JH-13 in-ear headfones - U gotta hear em!!

2009-11-05T02:34:00.001-08:00

PLS check out My review of Gibbard & Farrar's "One Fast Move or I'm Gone: Kerouac's Big sur" album: http://ping.fm/fpiIo

2009-11-04T18:48:00.001-08:00

Listening to Jay Farrar & Ben Gibbard's "One Fast Move or I'm Gone" & LOVIn it. See the documentary ASAP: http://ping.fm/8VrLs

A Ship of Friends

2009-11-04T10:19:00.000-08:00

Fifteen years,
and not a moment
has passed

or weakened
or shattered
or Diluted

Honest feelings of love
and Respect

Old Soul Love

The stuff of friendship
unspoken, felt
and Not forgotten.

and Graciousness
for Every moment
disintegrating into
our Collective journey.

A feeling of Home,
far away
yet always nearby.

Solace
in mind and body.
Warmth,
in the presence of Family

the family you meet,
sharing no blood of veins.
Blood let through
Love and Pain

Together

No Title - ol skool poem of mine... resurfaced

2009-10-24T00:25:00.000-07:00

Exchanging mindless thoughts
beneath a moon lit sky.

Foamy water chasing man-o-wars
across the slanted shoreline.

Meanwhile nightcrabs are having
their evening feast.

Love exchanged through drunken smiles
and burping laughter.

and Budda.

He was there too....

written by: Michael Mercer (sometime in the early 90's - wrote it about me and my good friend Tim sitting on a beach in Jupiter, Florida, after a long night of partying).

2009-10-22T08:08:00.001-07:00

Just launched Positive Feedback's Twitter account: http://ping.fm/RiR3N PLS check it out & support this splendid audio journal

2009-10-19T10:00:00.001-07:00

Lookin for some comments/feedback on my Letting Up Despite Great Faults review: http://ping.fm/7unes

2009-10-16T16:32:00.001-07:00

OK. Pls check out my review of Letting Up Despite Great Faults new record: http://ping.fm/MOxXx

2009-10-16T11:00:00.001-07:00

Writing bout Letting Up Despite Great Faults: http://ping.fm/PYPGX + gettin ready for Wax Tailor tnight in San Fran!!

2009-10-12T10:50:00.001-07:00

PLS check out my review of Daniel Johnston's newly released In And Always Was: http://ping.fm/jy7rX Psyched to see him live!!!!

Keep Contentment Close

2009-09-23T00:14:00.000-07:00

Contentment; that word now feels like a warm blanket.
I remember being more than content, but like any time in life,
things were good and bad.
But it was the good, the things that got me up in the morning
and kept me up most of the night that made my life years ago
so Amazing.

Have you ever dreamed of a way of life?
Ever had a visual in your mind of what that life would look like?
I had a vision, and my life began to reflect it! I was in heaven.
Sure, it wasn't all roses. Nothing Ever is. But it was Glorious.

My wife was beginning to find herself, truly, and took command
of her mind as well as her body.
I went to sleep every night, despite any hardships I may have faced,
Complete.
I was feeding my soul, and paying the bills! Imagine that life!
While I complained about work I loved it.
When I complained about money we had it.
I just wanted more.
Is the grass ever greener though?

I had a life of creating music, music that made our friends fuckin' Move
and other people we didn't even know- they felt moved.
We Rocked dancefloors
in Europe
in Miami
all over Manhattan and Brooklyn
We fuckin' went for it All. I know I did
and I know my boy did too.
We were a Slammin' team on the 1's and 2's - even our friends felt it
and told us about it, and made us feel like fuckin' Giants.

We Were Giants.
When you've got a crowd in the palm of your hand
You Know, you know what its like to connect with
complete strangers, even if just for a moment
and that's God in those Connections.
Not in Our Acts
but in our Hearts.

I felt like that Giant for a little while,
and I worked my Ass off to feel that way
but when it came time to fight for it,
For for what We Had

I folded. Folded to commitments
made out of lust for Understanding.

and found myself
running further away.
Further away from the past,
Not Being in the Present.

and Everything Fell Apart.
Everything.

I Longed to feel like that Giant.
A Giant Amongst Bigger Giants.
they towered over me, and comforted me
and guided me, and watched out for Me
and Cared.
They didn't see my mother in my eyes
or who I was as a child.

They just believed in Me.

and We had Music
Everywhere
and it Was Glorious.

I still Long to feel that way,
Looking forward to Saturday night.
thinking about the music we're gonna hear
over the weekend, through the weekend,
All Weekend.

No Future Trippin' they say
you gotta rebuild
On Day at a Time.
Fuckin' hell.
I was fuckin Contented!
and Happy, and Loved
and Cherished, and I loved
and Cherished
and I miss all the Fools that Inspired
this Fragmented,
From the Heart,
I don't Give a Shit,
I'm Fuckin' Sayin' it,
I Fuckin' Lova ya,
kinda prose,

Aimed without fear
aimed at you.

For the Crew, you know who you are
You mighta danced with us, you mighta danced to Us
but You Remember... and we all looked great dancing
together, Didn't We????

2009-09-06T01:39:00.001-07:00

Check out "The Tower" by Soapbox Army.Their album is in my top 5 for 09: http://ping.fm/4rMUS

2009-09-05T13:24:00.001-07:00

Working on letter of intent for job at LA Audio/Video and VFX. Goin for it all finally. What ya do when U got nothin to lose

2009-09-05T05:56:00.001-07:00

Latest BuzzOfTheBay blog: http://bit.ly/94Xdd Bay Area Artists! Are You Taking Advantage of the MANY Online Tools Available to You??

Can't Climb The Wall

2009-07-22T21:02:00.000-07:00

Fuck.

It's been so long.
so very long

since something Good
stayed Good.

What the Fuck.

I've bled myself Dry,
been leaking ever since,

ever since success in Life found me

Debts, Emotional debts, spiritual debts,
Financial debts

following years of Mistakes

Decisions made from the head,
not the Heart.

I keep moving,
just moving,

or I Die.

I pray.
I say things like God, I offer myself to Thee
to build with me, and to do with me as Thy Wilt

Sometimes Hashem hides from me
or
I hide from him

when I need him

when I need her
when I need you
when I need them
When I lose it All

and When I run

and when i Fall

Feeling Irrelevant Can Bring Back the Light

2009-06-13T00:58:00.000-07:00

The last two weeks have been rough.

I've been feeling irrelevant. My entire professional career, spent busting my ass in both the high end audio and music industries, has been for naught.

I was given the chance for a dream job, Great pay, back in the entertainment industry three weeks ago. The man whom I would have worked for, had he given me the job, knew me. He knew my past work, and that I was a dedicated person, and that my work ethic is exactly what he needed.

Well, he said he considered me more of a peer, and he would feel bad "having me be the guy to get his coffee." What bullshit. Needless to say I didn't get the job, even after a terrific, forty-five minute phone call with the guy.

I say look asshole (well, I didn't say it to him); here's a "peer" who needs a job! So what if he wanted to hire some eye candy with nice tits, at least tell me so!

Anyway, so it took the wind right out my fuckin' sails. It felt like a chance to live the life I loved years ago, a life full of smiles, full of dancing, nice dinners, traveling, and well, actually fuckin' living!

That's the life we had from 1998 to 2004. Not a bad run I suppose. There aren't alot of people that can pinpoint a time in their lives when they were most happy. Well, at least I can do that.

I've been kicking myself for leaving New York more and more these days. I was the bitch, I didn't stand up for the fact that I was so happy, and that's not on my wife. That's on me. People tell me I need to get over it, that I need to move on. They're right, but I don't think I will ever forgive myself, so, what do I do?

I change everything the fuck up. It's all I can do.

I won't ever let myself off the hook for giving up the life I always wanted; working in music, producing music, DJing around the world with my best friend, traveling with dear friends, money in the savings account.

But that life is no more, and I've been chasing it for too long. I have nothing, we have nothing, actually less than that. Our one good investment (aside of my wife's surgery) was our fuckin' Rav4 for Christs sake, and they recently took that away from us too.

I live in fuckin' Antioch, East Bay, California. I love California, and I'm never going back to the East Coast. All that was there for me, everything that I had worked for, those solid connections and jobs awaiting, they're all gone.

That wonderful old life does not exist here. I can't even fuckin' play any records, and I've been out of the game too long now.

Time to change it up. Perhaps it's time to join the herd, and this I do not say with the slightest bit of sarcasm. I always wanted to teach, but the schooling would be too long and we have no money.

Time to learn a real trade. Hell, who knows, but I realize the reason for my fuckin' dark times is that I simply won't forgive myself, and because of that I must change Everything.

*This was a means of pure expression, and I needed to say this to somebody, so I wrote it here.

The bitter Taste of Success, Well, After it's Gone

2009-04-07T03:20:00.000-07:00

I tasted success.
It wasn't handed to me,
I earned that shit.
I worked my fuckin' ass off
to become the man I am.
To have worked for and with
some of the greatest minds of
our century,

That was a gift
that I am trying desperately not to Squander.

I had all I needed.
An amazing Wife,
two jobs that I was passionate about,
Great Friends around us,
the chance to rock a fuckin dance floor,
having fuckin fun,
in the way that friends crazy for each other have.

I fuckin squandered it all. I thought moving to my wife's birthplace
would be great for both of us. Just bad timing.
I don't regret moving to Cali
Well, not the second time coming back anyway

and I, now, feel very much at home here.
But things are fuckin rough, having to rebuild,
Completely.
Fuckin health insurance, accidents, fuckin pills, FUCK
I was however, from the bottom of my heart
Always Chasing Righteousness. It illuded me for a while.

and I left Hashem
and so he left me

Man I blew it.

I just muthafuckin' blew it people. We blew it.

I am rebuilding

and, while it seems fuckin
Impossible
because it feels like we can not catch up
sometimes,
just catch up to ourselves
Who We Were, and who We Are.

But we have fuckin found ourselves again
and perhaps we needed to go through all these SHITTY
Nightmares

To escape the will to run
run away into fuckin intoxicants
and evil people

We are, at least, clear in mind and body
and that is Something
I guess

But Fuck I do miss Success.

don't know yet

2009-02-11T00:57:00.000-08:00

I never intended any harm.
Not to anyone.

This dragon,
was born of the past
and still haunts

my Present.

I keep it at bay
with love,
by trying to hold onto
the Truth.

Life is often impossible.
and my Soul,
seeks out the darkness
at times.

The light
can be illusive.

The world seems blurred,
distorted
when seen through the eyes of
the unrighteous.

I chase
righteousness

and always try
to seek the light

Meandering Matrix Thoughts

2008-12-16T21:03:00.000-08:00

Life can be so odd at times. Just when you think the important things are lined up for success they begin to meander like the racing thoughts in your head. Sometimes it seems necessary to un-plug from both cyber and real time and space for a while. We are constantly hit with this barrage of information from all angles, effecting all senses as the result.

I find this in my writing assignments. Since I work in and around music and the record business there is always something to listen to or write about. One of the greater skills I have to master is finding the music that is not only good (enough for me to listen to anyway) but good enough to write about. I write about things that move me; mentally, physically, and spiritually. So, when I am searching for stuff that appeals to me I am bombarded with endless information on everything having to with artists and new (and classic) tunes. This can get overwhelming at times.

I'm not trying to be a little bitch about it. I realized that I am blessed to be doing the things I do for a living (and I'm far from rich). But the truth is that this same situation affects alot of us. We end up plugging into this electro-infused gatework of telecommunications and entertainment. The sensory overload clouds the judgment, and therefore some of us end up making the wrong decisions. This is when it's time to unplug.

Remember; there was a time when we lived a life unplugged. When I was a kid (not to sound like an old man, because I'm not that, at age 33) we used to spend more time outside than anybody does today; including today's kids. The video games and movies were activities for the fall-out of playing outside all day. Our bodies were tired, but our brains kept moving in that super conductive-teenage way. The games, the virtual representations of the real world, were endeared because; either we couldn't get out, or go back to the real world for a little while. There was a sense of discovery, a love affair with the outside world which seems to be diminishing.

This concept; that mankind is moving away from the natural world, is both alarming and just Goddamn depressing. It is alarming because the line between the real and "virtual" (or computer generated) blurs frequently. This can be very dangerous, especially when we're talking about the influence of strictly, wholly, violent video games played by our kids. The games seem so real (I've played, and play now, some of them) that they sometimes (unfortunately) correlate with a particular kids situations. Translation: If the kid lives in the ghetto, is surrounded by drug dealers and wanna-be thugs, the game is an approximation of his real life!

You wonder how a kid can walk into a school and shoot other kids like he's playing a damn video game? Well, get behind the viewing angle of your childrens games for a minute and things will crystallize for you. The more a person engages himself or herself in the virtual world, the less interesting the real world becomes. This isn't the sole problem plaguing the youth, or us for that matter, but it is a component.

I've been making the outside a priority of late. I make small goals daily (go for a short drive to a local park, or a bike ride, etc.) and the notice in my attitude is apparent immediately. It's almost as if I have been re-calibrated. The feeling itself is addictive, which as great for me, and so I recommend it to anybody that spends their day staring into a computer screen.

This rant was inspired by my dear friend Mina - who once told me I needed to "defragment my mental hard-drive by doing nothing, or meditating for five minutes a day". She asked me to do ten minutes first, but soon realized that was impossible.

ROUGH THOUGHTS TO ADD LATER
----Computers have done miraculous things, and even I can not live without living plugged-in (as a journalist and a blogger, it's a necessity of course)

----I remember getting my first pager in high school (around 91'). The thing was a big blue plastic brick with a digital display that looked like fucking an old Casio calculator.

Who's Gonna Bail Me Out? Do I deserve it?

2008-11-19T18:23:00.000-08:00

I believe this entire notion of bailing out multi-billion dollar corporations with the tax dollars of middle class citizens is criminal. I also believe the CEO's who decided to hedge their financial bets on the backs of grandmothers pensions should be awarded the death penalty for their crimes against humanity.

These poor individuals, who decided to take their retirement money, and follow the advice of their superiors by investing in the companies for which they were employed for many years, are now left with nothing. Actually; they now have less than nothing. Their houses will be taken away, their bank accounts drained to pay off debts they thought were taken care of. If the acts that caused these problems are not viewed as sheer atrocities, then we are all blinded by the big money machine.

These corporations were designed to make money! If they fail, the fault should lie on the individuals making the big decisions! Ironically, those people end up complaining about the 500 million in their bank account as opposed to the 700 million they had before the company collapsed! Shoot these guys, and actually, give the firearms to those grandmothers who paid through their blood and sweat and are left begging for the government tit. Let them rid the earth of these corporate vermin. At the very least there would be justice. Not manufactured justice, but true justice.

Everything seems geared to save those who caused the problems! Does this seem strange America? Why are we seeking band-aids as opposed to locks and keys! It makes me sick.

Who's Got The Answers

2008-10-24T20:45:00.000-07:00

The thoughts below ramble, and yes, I think Obama can do some great things. I'm merely doubtful about the grand change he speaks of....

Stoner thoughts, they'll be with my til the day I die. This post is admittedly more of a stream of consciousness, aimed at the self sort-a thing - and now you're thinking: Why is it on the fuckin' web then smart/stoned/silly/sober/drunk boy?? You'll never know -
the answer to the obvious question, or whether or not one of the terms above encapsulates my mindset at present moment:::::::::::::

The political atmosphere has thickened with empty conversation of late, as it always has during presidential races. For half of my life (well, a third actually) it seems I've been making a choice following the "lesser of two evils" cliche in order to justify who's team I voted for or fought against.

The issues that appeal to me from a mechanical perspective, meaning the ones that seem workable to me, get tossed into the proverbial in-box as visions of the White House keep dangling like that damn carrot. The fog seems to lift in only a few months.

Surprisingly, most of the politicians look and sound of hope in the early stages of their campaigns. They look incredible because the paint has yet to dry. Their intentions are sometimes wholehearted, and their ideas fresh. Everything new presents itself with one true measure of pleasure; the unknown, and, the possibility to have an impact (shit, OK two). Once the candidates and their respective teams get a firm grasp on spin however, it becomes increasingly difficult to get an accurate read on them as individuals.

Now that the race is squared away, the true competitors emerge. Now, anybody who has competed on a serious level knows you do whatever it takes to win. Is our new whatever so bland and soulless that in order to lead the sheep you must become the phatter sheep? Yeah, I wrote it: PHATTER.

I Don't see JFK or Lincoln or any of the once great presidents (no comments about these two names appearing in the same sentence people) in ANY body running for president today in October 2008.

So: It's the lesser of two evils lever then??

To Be Continued

just need an avatar link real quick

2008-10-18T23:16:00.000-07:00

Sorry Folks, if any see this silly little picture posted here. I merely needed an avatar that was online for my profile on Kevin Smith's message board (the View Askiew-niverse).

PLEASE SEE BELOW FOR ALL MY LEGITIMATE POSTINGS!!!!

Thinking of the Past

2008-10-12T21:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I long for the past.

Unconditional friendship
and laughter.
Illusions of safety,
wrapped in our
imaginations
and our brothers arms.

Our pride,
We knew what we wanted.

Surrounded by Everything
We could ever need.

There was Love
in our eyes,
our handshakes,
and in the arms
around our shoulders.

I still remember those smiles
and childish jokes.

Our mothers were so insulted.

We could say anything
to each other.

NoFuckinbody
could say anything back.

We didn’t know discrimination.

We didn’t care.

We loved,
hated,
admired,
and loathed
Everyone.

Yet the World seemed so Hopeful
and Vast.

We wanted
to be a part of it.

But we could have stayed.

Right there.

Where we all knew
what Everything was.

and it didn’t matter,
It didn’t matter at All.

We had each other

We had more.

written by: Michael Mercer 10/08

Art For ERIC In Crooklyn!

2008-10-12T01:56:00.000-07:00

I made this piece for my boy Eric in Brooklyn (well, now on Staten Island, ugh).

It's oil, crayon, and cuttings on heavy duty sketch paper

Was trying to capture our mutual feelings at the time of our chat months ago

Addiction

2008-10-07T15:15:00.000-07:00

Addiction is a cliché
and Fatal.

A brutal disease.
It will take everything and everybody
you have.

No excuses.
No blame.
No faults.

It will kill your family
and all your friends
before it kills you.

Addiction lives,
It breaths
It thinks
It knows
and forgets
Everything.

But it is not human.
It is the most evil machine,
a monster.
It never stops,

Never.

It knows what you want,
what you love,
what you have,
what you need.

What you are willing
to sacrifice.

You don’t know darkness
until Addiction wraps itself
around You.

There is nothing,
Except you
and your Addiction.

Nothing.

There is No hope,
No cure
No remedy
No fix

Only You
can put it to sleep

Through death
Through loss
Through Pain.

It Never Dies,
only sleeps.

You will Never
Kill It.

It lives with You
Forever,
Once awoken

written by: michael mercer October 7, 2008

A Poem for the Daniel Pearl foundation's October Days

2008-09-22T00:16:00.000-07:00

This is a poem I wrote for consideration by the Daniel Pearl Foundation. They are holding their October Days events next month. For more details check out their website here. I hope the poem moves you (I just decided to share it here - was originally sent only to dear friends:

"To Life"
In Memory of Daniel Pearl

Faith
Shrouded in Hatred

Attacked Humanity.

God
Was Not There.

Only this Heart,
Alone

There was Fear,
An internal Fight

There was Pride,
Spoken of the streets of Jerusalem

There was No Defeat.

Only Death,
and Heaven

and Daniel
In The Heart Of God

written by: michael mercer 2008

Legends Never Say Goodbye

2008-08-18T14:08:00.000-07:00

As we lost the great musical architect, Mr. Jerry Wexler, last week, a significant chapter in the story of the music industry has closed. This is not to say we merely move on or carry the torch into the future with no regard for the past, rather to acknowledge the visionaries that came before us and respect their wholehearted dedication and admiration for the artist community. Early in his career, as a writer for Billboard in the late 40’s, Jerry Wexler blazed a path for a groundbreaking new genre, one that he referred to as “rhythm and blues.” This new sound not only crossed the racial barriers of this country, it destroyed them in the eyes of the record buying masses.

After teaming up with fellow music aficionados Ahmet Ertegen and his brother Nesui at Atlantic Records, Wexler began what would later be known as a masterful career, propelling talents like Ray Charles, Aretha Franklin, Dusty Springfield, and Wilson Pickett to instant stardom. He found another musical/production partner in Arif Mardin, and their teamwork spawned some of the most forward thinking, soulful music this nation has ever heard (the Memphis soul sound for example, the tonality and structure behind Springfield’s Dusty in Memphis record). He treasured soul, and his ear for the music that drove his passion was unparalleled.

Mr. Wexler was a part of a team that loved music, the notes and the artist. They would spend countless hours figuring our how to get the sound “right” or whom to pair their artists with in order to make the records pop. Of course they wanted hits, to argue the opposite would be blissfully ignorant, but those hits formulated as the result of a profound respect and admiration for music. Men like Ahmet Ertegun, Jerry Wexler, and Arif Mardin lived and breathed music. They collected and tirelessly sought new records, they constantly attended shows, and were there to support and develop the artist, not just sign a contract and move on to the next client. Their work is evidence of this great love affair. They were true music men, and the fact that they ran a business, well, that happened by default. Again, not to say they did not intend to make a buck, but the motivation was not the buck, it was the note, that one magical note that would bring a smile to those people huddled around the record player.

The industry that was formed as the result of people like Mr. Wexler has morphed into something unrecognizable. There are few men left, which, at the end of the day, are there for the discovery, for the thrill. Does the art suffer? You bet it does, but that is for another essay. Here we say farewell to these great men, but these great men will never say farewell to us. Their music, their passion, their ear and their dedication will always be with us, humming through the notes that made up their lives.

America, Born?

2008-08-13T04:40:00.000-07:00

These United States of America were conquered and colonized. This fact, seemingly simple, yet insidiously profound, may in fact dictate our foreign relations. We are at the core a nation of stolen landscapes and evangelicals. We brought alien diseases and plagues to this continent while attempting to "civilize" a people more deeply connected with their environment and spirituality than their would-be conquerors.
Our federal doctrine of law, while brilliant in theory, is based on a system of beliefs originally alien to this lands original inhabitants. Perhaps this was both the beginning and the end to true freedom. What we have, these many years later, is differing levels of freedom that has been fragmented into classifications of race, religion, and other characteristics.

Continued on 8/14/08:

The written laws are a reflection of the beliefs and values held dear by the authors. How can any such doctrine truly include and consider those whose heritage and lifestyle exist wholly separate and outside of the inherent cultural considerations of the lawmakers? Not to say that our founding fathers had no such right to dictate our laws, for their intentions were grand in scope, and mighty in reaching. We need to believe they had the greatest concern for all citizens, and this is seemingly so, according to the majority of written accounts of those times. However, and this is merely a point of consideration (something to ponder), these laws were written in accordance with the current state of the country. Has our nation not changed, and evolved (some would argue the opposite I realize) drastically since their pens met that sacred paper?

The Greatest Project

2008-08-10T02:54:00.000-07:00

My wife and I met a Holocaust survivor; Susy, at our temple in Northern California. She and her husband Bob have been married for 50 years. He was in the army in World War II, and was the first soldier that Susy came into contact with (after surviving one of the longest death marches in Poland). She says she knew, upon making eye contact with him, that they would get married and have a family together.

Her story is almost as amazing as she is. Her radiance is wholly unmatched by ANYBODY I have ever met, at any age, and she is well into her 80’s. When I first got a chance to speak with her after Shabbat services I was so enchanted by her I asked if I could write her story for her family. I told her I was a writer, and that it would be an honor to immortalize her tale for generations of her family to come. She was hesitant but thanked me for the offer. I understood her apprehension. This was a personal story that would transport her back into a time of pure hell. I could not blame her. She did not want to re-live that horror.

A few weeks later her husband Bob approached me, and said they found some old tapes; ¼” analog tapes from 1981 that he and Susy had recorded her stories on. Susy sat down with a few drinks and Bob fired away the questions, as she kept her composure as best she could while telling these horrid tales. He asked me if I could do anything with them and I said of course, that we should do an analog to digital transfer in my studio as soon as possible, as the tapes will be corroding soon. I offered to make CDs with manually tracked ID points, mastering (noise clean up, leveling, etc.) and that Alexandra could do some wonderful artwork. They were excited to say the least. I took the tapes home to begin the process. We were told not to play the tapes for ANYBODY. Only Alexandra and I could listen. We agreed of course, and there I was: In the studio, listening, working, and just letting the magnitude of the story take hold.

That has been an experience beyond words for me. For all the music production work I’ve been involved in, this actually felt like the greatest project for which I had the honor to take on. Though I was merely trying to preserve (and improve – sonically) a story told by somebody else I know, this will live on for years in their family. Their children will be able to hear it long after Susy has left this earth. What a gift to be able to share the experience.

I have been pondering all the ridiculous things I stress about, the silliness that finds me arguing with Alexandra occasionally, and the crap that I consider important. I realize what Susy went through to have a life, and how joyful she is. What right do I have to get down on myself when times get rough? Really, look at what this woman, and MILLIONS of others lived through. I am fortunate to be strong in my faith, and it has brought my own consciousness and marriage to a wholly different level, beyond anything I could have imagined previously.

I do not preach that which serves me to others, but I wish it upon all my friends and family: Embrace your heritage, live it, and remember those who lived before you so that you may have the chance to carry the torch, and keep the flame burning. I am thankful to call her my friend.

"Addicted To Oil" Thomas L. Friedman Reporting - strong thoughts

2008-07-17T23:46:00.000-07:00

I recently watched a documentary entitled Addicted To Oil, Thomas L. Friedman Reporting (2006). Admittedly, I am not familiar with Thomas Friedman, but some of the blatant omissions (or challenges) in the supposedly informative film left me wondering about his intentions, and his credibility.

The first issue was with a scene in which Friedman interviews a high level GM executive on the EV-1 project. For those unfamiliar with the story of the EV-1 (stood for Electronic Vehicle 1): GM manufactured a few hundred purely electronic vehicles in the 90's for the state of California. This was a sort of trial period, and even certain celebrities got on board (Mel Gibson for one, who complained about the overly bureaucratic and complex process to purchase an EV-1). The state built a basic infrastructure, with plug-in charging stations at select BART stations. The sales of the vehicle were a success. There was a waiting period as the direct result of too many orders too soon.

Shortly after the release of the vehicles the state of California passed a stringent bill that set new, seemingly unattainable manufacturing standards for GM with regard to emissions and the amount of vehicles to be built. The company decided to pull the plug on the EV-1, despite glowing reviews from owners of the cutting edge cars. Not only did the company pull the plug, but they took back ALL of the working vehicles by refusing to re-up all current leases.

The owners of the EV-1 were so dedicated to the little cars that they protested outside of a lot in which the vehicles were being kept under lock and key for over a YEAR. They watched as the cars were trucked out, and later destroyed by a car crusher deep in the desert.

Well, this executive told Thomas Friedman that the cars were a "commercial flop" and that "nobody wanted to buy them." This was far from the truth, and yet Friedman, a supposedly accredited journalist, merely accepted the answers in stride and the film continued. Now, I'm not an accomplished investigative journalist (not yet) but even I know this guy was bullshitting. Why no challenge from Friedman?

To add insult to injury, the film went on to discuss the values of Hydrogen! We all know of the obvious benefits, but what about the fact that the cost will make gas seem cheap? That is just skimming the top of the hydrogen issue - more on that at a later date.

This is the sort of thing that can turn a "documentary" into propaganda for a large corporation. Now, I am no conspiracy theorist, but the standards seem to have dropped to the point where people no longer question anything. Have we truly become sheeples, as Mike Savage (he's terrific) would call most of us?

Lets get in the big game again. No more idle speech about "change". Lets get into action.